International Woman of Mystery

After a busy week of being bombarded with who, where, what when, I decided I needed a new job.  My week summed up in questions:

Where were you? eh the toilet
What are you doing? eh I'm sitting down for the first time to day.
Can you please just.... wash it, iron it, pick it up, collect it, buy it, mind it?
Then when I went to work for a break...I was asked (by my family)..what were you doing being 09:00am and 09:15..I didn't hear you...were you making coffee?
Is that a new...dress, coat, top, scarf?
Who was that on the phone?
How long were you on the phone for?



So I got myself a new job....International Woman of Mystery
Where were you? That's classified
What are you doing? Also classified
Can you please just....? Sorry I'm on an assignment...and that's classifed also
Where where you between 09:00am and 09:15am? Not allowed to say...classified
Is that a new...dress, coat, top, scarf? No it's a disguise...not allowed to say anymore....classified.

Who was that on the phone?...Classified
How long were you on the phone?....eh..yes you guessed it..it's also classified.

The thing with the new job is I could be called away at a moments notice on a secret mission....Paris, Spain, New York? who knows...As it would be really unprofessional to bring my husband and children to work, they will have to stay at home!






INTERNATIONAL WOMAN OF MYSTERY
THE ROLE (not unlike the role of an Intelligence Officer)
Decision making will be part of your daily life. An International Woman of Mystery should be able to identify and solve or delegate problems with creative solutions to their partners or family members.  

An incisive intellect and finely balanced judgement are essential, as are outstanding verbal and written communication skills. You must be able to demonstrate resilience and the ability to cope with setbacks, as well as the ability to work well in a family unit and quickly establish rapport with a wide range of friends, neighbours and a good babysitter you can trust.

Analytical and highly organised, you will have a superb eye for detail, and the perfect balance of sensitivity and confidence. Discretion and integrity are also crucial qualities.

We encourage all employees to develop the full range of their capabilities, increasing their personal job satisfaction and improving their prospects of promotion.Therefore it is important that you take time out for yourself to read, get your nails done or part take in any other activity (s) you enjoy e.g. shopping.

Being an International Woman of Mystery is a rewarding, stimulating and challenging career. You’ll turn your analytical skills to a unique challenge.  Making informed recommendations as to the directions your partner/ children should take next. Results will not come easily, but each intelligence breakthrough you make could prove a crucial turning point.


You’ll also understand how to identify when someone is telling you lies using a range of tools and techniques. Creative and able to think clearly under pressure, you’re comfortable explaining complex information to non-technical audiences and able to work within a team.

Discretion and integrity are crucial qualities. Few people will know about the role that you will play. 

Owing to the sensitivity of our work, we do not publicly disclose the identities of our staff. You should not discuss your application, other than with your partner or a close family member.